Are you male or female? Your customers, clients and strategic partners want to know.

I was working with my client, Osnat, today. She was writing an e-mail to her customer, Aujne, and called me to check out some phrasing.

Well, I've let the cat out of the bag already. Yes, Osnat is a woman. But we weren't so sure about Aujne's gender.

"Osnat," I said. "Have you ever met this customer?"

"No," she answered. "Why do you ask?"

"Well, I was just wondering whether Aujne is a man's or a woman's name. We've been assuming that Aujne is a man in this invitation, but what if we're wrong... We've just asked him to let us know if his wife will be accompanying him. That could be pretty embarrassing if Aujne is a woman! Not only that," I said. "We don't know if Aujne has a wife or a husband or even what his or her sexual orientation is!"

Osnat and I ended up deciding to be much more diplomatic. First, we did a little detective work and found out that Aujne was a woman. Then we simply asked if anyone would be accompanying her.

Now put the shoe on the other foot. A similar situation could be happening in your customers' offices. If you haven't let them know whether you are male or female, you may be placing them in an awkward situation.

Don't assume that your first name makes it obvious. Here in Israel, Sharon is a unisex name. And maybe you remember that wonderful country and western song, A Boy Named Sue?

My advice for the day is to make sure that you include some clue to your gender when you first introduce yourself in writing. A Mr. or Ms as part of your signature can go a long way preventing future embarrassment for your customer, client, or strategic partner.

Now if your title happens to be Dr. or Prof., then your signature won't do the trick. You've got to get the information across in a more subtle way. I've been known to drop a reference to "my husband" into a note, as in "My husband and I have just returned from vacationing in Zimbabwe."

Got an anecdote to share about this issue? Please do!

Until next time,

Signing off,

Mrs. Rochelle Treister